


Cult of Domesticity

by dogheaven



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 10:52:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15217595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogheaven/pseuds/dogheaven
Summary: Taako finds a stranger in his kitchen.





	Cult of Domesticity

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh idk this is sorta kinda based on something i drew (check out my art blog @hungwyy)

 

The sunlight streaming in from his window usually isn’t what wakes Taako up, but today the pressing insistence of his bladder mixed with the smell of  _ something  _ burning in the kitchen rouses him from a deep, highly unnecessary sleep. His eyes itch from the light outside and he shuts his curtains with a sharp  _ twak,  _ grumbling all the while. 

He forgoes donning any extra clothes besides his oversized sleeping crap and, after a visit to the bathroom, pads his way into the kitchen, annoyance at whatever bullshit Merle or Magnus are --  _ trying to --  _ cook up overarching his want to pass out back in bed. 

At the doorway to the kitchen, a quip starts up in his throat but then dies at his teeth when he sees Merle with… someone else at the stove. His mind reels, wracking his brain for the semi-familiar face of this man -- older, maybe in his late forties, with dark hair and tired eyes, wearing one of Merle’s Kenny Chesney tee shirts with boxers and the dwarf wrapped around his middle, wood and flesh arm alike coddling him like a longtime lover. The man’s cooking pancakes, steam rising off the griddle in plumes. He burns himself on the hot metal, spitting a curse and nursing his fingertip in his mouth. Merle laughs and puts a hand on his hip, getting up on his toes to see. 

It hits Taako in a split second who this man --  _ thing --  _ is. He’s not all freaky and split and cracked and glowing like an opal, now -- not melting or on fire or trying to kill them -- just human. Just… cooking pancakes in their kitchen.

And Merle is  _ cuddling _ the Hunger. 

The moment that it hits Taako he reels back, ears flattening against his head. 

“Merle, what the  _ fuck _ ?” 

***

John is not one prone to embarrassment, at least, not in the past few hundred years. He’s still getting used to all these emotions that are simultaneously ugly and sticky and strange and leave a bitter taste in his mouth, and he still has a very little amount of experience when it comes to his (boyfriend’s? fuckbuddy’s? lover’s?)  _ openness  _ and  _ honesty  _ and long, late-night chats and -- and his teammates walking in on them having a moment in the kitchen, half-dressed and post-coitus.

Seeing the elf’s disgusted/shocked face had made Merle laugh but John flush with heat, a peculiar feeling starting up in his belly and making its way to ring in his ears. Merle pats him on the back good-naturedly, saying something about kids not knocking (nevermind they were in the kitchen). 

***

Taako gives him wary looks all throughout the day, eyes squinted and mouth pressed in a flat line as he goes about his routine, passing him and Merle as they chat in the living room, nursing coffees and his shitty pancakes.

It’s… nice, John supposes, to have a quiet, domestic day with Merle, but the wizard’s constant (maybe  _ too  _ constant to be natural) passing-bys put him on edge all day. 

And in the evening, as he and Merle are set to leave, Merle forgets something and rushes back into his bedroom to get it, leaving John alone with the lurking elf. He’s trying to ignore the feeling of being watched in his belly as he pulls on his loafers, but doesn’t get much reprieve as Taako puts a hand on his shoulder and John turns to him, tensing up in fear of an altercation. 

The elf, although shorter than him, is an imposing silhouette what with his wizard hat as he stands over him. He gives John a cursory glance down his body before speaking: “I mean, at least you’re not a plant. You got that going for you, I guess.” He removes the hand from John’s shoulder and slaps them together, dusting nonexistent lint from his palms. 

He measures John with a look as he turns to go. 

“Don’t think for one second I’m calling you ‘Dad,’ though.” 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it !! getting notifications for kudos and comments makes me all warm and fuzzy<3


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